How You’re Giving Up Control in Your Marriage
Introduction
Marriages are meant to be the happy union of two people who share love, mutual respect, and dreams. Yet, in such a partnership, it is common to lose control insidiously and harm your personal freedom (and general happiness). Soul sister, to surrender your power in marriage, do this. Here are six ways you might be losing control of yourself and what you can begin doing about it.
1. Compromising Too Much
While compromise is crucial in any relationship, there is a very delicate balance between making a healthy amount of compromises for the sake of your partner while still maintaining who you are. By continuously putting your partner's needs before your own, it can lead to a lack of fulfilment and, over time, cause resentment for not following the desires that are within.
2. Ignoring Personal Goals
Sometimes, when people get married, they go from individual goals to pluralistic goals. Yes, it is important that we all work towards common goals, but at the same time, following our own dreams will also save us from losing ourselves and becoming bitter in the long run.
Claim the Power Back: Reflect on your personal goals and discuss them with your spouse (or not). Encourage and follow your own dreams in addition to the ones you have together.
3. Allowing Financial Imbalance
Mentioning here that autonomy in large part is controlled financially. When one person has control over finances, it can make the other feel as if they are not equal partners and may promote feelings of financial insecurity.
Getting Back in the Driver's Seat: Be open about financial affairs and include both parties in the budgeting, planning, and decision-making process. In order to maintain equality and trust, maintain financial literacy and common ownership.
4. Disregarding Personal Boundaries
Sometimes your boundaries blend into the tight squeeze of marriage. This also leads to a feeling of being constantly overloaded and slowly losing personal space and privacy.
Take Back Control: Establish and enforce personal time, space, and activities (boundaries is the psychological term). Good boundaries are not only a critical part of maintaining your personal health but also of ensuring you thrive as individuals and partners.
5. Suppressing Your Voice
Good communication makes a good marriage. By agreeing regularly with the person with whom you are in a relationship to avoid arguing, it may mean silencing your voice and behaving according to what is on one's mind.
How to Take Control: Learn assertive communication. Be honest with your feelings. Healthy arguments can help you gain a good idea at some point.
6. Neglecting Self-Care
Between the busyness of married life, self-care is a last resort. And often times, neglect leads to burnout and loss of identity.
Seize the wheel: rank self-care practices that revive you and make you an even better version of yourself at the top. Self-care is super important to keep yourself going: regular exercise, or at least what you can do; doing your hobbies; and taking time out for everything else.
7. You accept that there exists an imbalance in the division of household labour.
One person winds up getting saddled with most of the household responsibilities, which feels unbalanced and leads to resentment.
Instead, say... Reclaiming Control: Have a direct and open dialogue around splitting household chores fairly. Divide tasks equally while still respecting both partners time and effort.
8. Relying Too Much on Your Partner for Happiness
Putting the burden of your emotional well-being on one person can send this relationship to its doom, and before long, you might see yourself in a co-dependent situation.
Recovering Control: Find support from many sources and engage in activities that make you satisfied on your own. This solidifies your identity and adds to the substance of that bond.
Conclusion
Control in marriage is about maintaining control of oneself, not controlling the other person. It means having boundaries and a willingness to set limits on your relationship in order for it to be healthier and more balanced. When you can identify and correct these insidious ways that control might manifest in your life, you open the way for a relationship built on respect, encouragement, and co-joy. A solid marriage is built on the foundation of two healthy, self-confident people who choose to walk together.
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